Author Abodes Imperiled

June 3rd, 2008 at 9:32 am

It’s so hard being a dead writer these days.

The receding economy pities no one. And that includes great authors who have long since passed, leaving them without their earthen haunts to haunt.

Edith Wharton’s Mount is in financial limbo.

Mark Twain’s home is also broke.

But there is hope:

Several “young people” who broke into “poet” Robert Frost’s home for a “beer party” are being required to take classes in his poetry as part of their punishment.

There is a simple solution in all of this: Throw beer parties at Twain’s and Wharton’s estates as fund raisers!!!

Invite “young people.” Serve “beer.” Have “poetry” readings. Tell Oprah. Inform Bill Clinton. Get Jerry Lewis involved. Call it an art show. Organize workshops. Encourage people to dress up like the writers and have prizes for best look-a-like.

With that solved, what would have the punishment been had these aforementioned “young people” had a “beer party” in the old home of Charles Bukowski?

Certainly no judge nor lawyer in their right mind would reinforce such behavior by further teaching it.

This should serve as a lesson to all “beer”-seeking “young people.” Only throw “beer parties” at the homes of those writers notorious for their carousing.

For reference, see Hemingway & Bailey’s Bartending Guide to Great American Writers.

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