Book Industry Groups are trying to revise parts of the Patriot Act that allow the federal government to force libraries and bookstores to release their records detailing purchases and book withdrawals.

I still get a kick out of the name “Patriot Act.” It’s like calling Herpes “Love Freckles.”

But really I just fantasize that there is a bureaucrat government drone in a fortified bunker outside of White Sands, New Mexico that is admiring the quality and quantity of books I borrow from the Public Library. “Wow, what sophisticated taste,” they must be saying to their robot assistant R2-Hal. “He must be good looking too,” R2-Hal probably answers in his sputtering robot-voice.

And Indiana has passed a new law that requires bookstores to register with the government if they sell what is considered “sexually explicit materials.”

Indiana booksellers will try to fight it. Good luck.

“Sexually explicit material” is defined as any product that is “harmful to minors,” there is a $250 registration fee, and failure to register is only a misdemeanor.

But still.

Never minding sexual content, there are a number of books that I would love to see classified as “harmful to minors” for their sheer mediocrity alone. But the blatant sex is pretty unsettling too:

I remember when I was 9 and lost my virginity. Ah, the memories…

A Media Studies Professor would have a field day with the above book cover, which can be found in the Teen section of your local bookstore. Notice that the faces are cut off. The focus on the bare legs and chests of the young girls, objectifying them, breaking them down to their parts, like a piece of meat.

I know we’re trying to protect the children here (the children!), and there are a lot of bozos out there that we need to protect them from, but still.

Books?

That’s what our lawmakers are concerned about? Books?

So is Indiana going after those Kama Sutra books in the back corner of Barnes & Noble or Gossip Girls?

You’re next, Miley Cyrus.

Filed under: Books, Politics, news
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