McCain’t

February 12th, 2008 at 4:16 am

You can tell it’s an Election Year when a scrappy little-brother-of-a-quarterback like Eli Manning comes back to trounce an unbeaten dynasty to win the Super Bowl and an elderly Maverick like John McCain rallies to prominence after floundering in partisan neglect like a melting scoop of vanilla ice cream in a banana split of chocolate and pussy.

Whew.

It’s an Election Year. The gloves are off. I really should calm down. After all, there’s not as much reason to worry anymore. Romney dropped out. And there probably won’t be a Scientologist candidate for at least 24 prosperous years.

Things really brightened up for McCain didn’t they? It’s too bad he’ll be running against either a Woman or a Black Man in an election in which the populous will be begging for Drastic Change after eight years of stifling, staunch conservatism. No, this one won’t go to McCain. We’re Americans. We watch bad television, eat too much, and vote buffoons into office for two consecutive terms but make up for it with healthy doses of progressivism.

We’re lazy, not stupid. There’s a big difference. Pity the Enemy who doesn’t grasp the distinction. But watch out you Liberals. More than guns, dessert, and sports, America loves an underdog. Right now, John McCain is the Underdog.

So even if McCain won’t be President, he does have a starring role in a graphic novel.

And a book. Twelve is rushing the paperback edition of his Hard Call now that McCain is a serious contender in The Race.

Bravo to Twelve by the way. They only publish twelve books a year. One a month. They strive to publish singular works. Good works. While other houses are selling and branding and advertising and fucking small woodland creatures, Twelve insists that, “To sell the book is only the beginning of our mission. To build avid audiences of readers who are enriched by these works – that is our ultimate purpose.”

You could say that they do it in twelve positions.

Reading is Sexy. Do it Like a Slut.

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